Preparing yourself for dating again as a single parent
Dating is tricky subject for many single parents. As a single mother of a beautiful boy I often had discussions with my girlfriends about how to approach dating and what to tell my little boy. Wanting to be open and honest with my son I was reluctant to lie to him about what I was doing and when but at the same time I didn’t want a new father figure in my sons life who I possibly wasn’t going to pursue a long-term relationship with. Now two years on I am in a stable relationship with a guy who adores me and my little boy. Here are some tips I learned along the way.
Everyone has an opinion
Everyone it seems will want to tell you what to do. Sometimes its better to make your own mistakes, believe me I have made several. This is why I feel I am able to share some of my experiences. Take on board other people’s advice but ultimately you make the decisions.
Be honest but don’t get your children’s hopes up
Go out one dates. Tell your children you are going to dinner with a ‘friend’. Try to avoid bringing every guy home who you are casually dating. After several dates if you feel it is going somewhere then sit down and explain you have been dating a guy, it’s not serious yet but you like this guy.
You are the adult here
Your children are important but you are the adult here and you make the decisions. Some children are keen for their parents to meet someone special. Others will want to protect you and not want you to get into a relationship for fear you will get hurt. If your children still have a good relationship with their father you will need to explain to them that your new partner is not intended to replace their father. Some sort of resistance is to be expected, often it’s their way of telling you they love you. Try to be understanding but don’t let it get in the way of finding happiness for yourself.
Single parents have needs too
When it comes to sex, just because you are a single parent it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. Its not a good idea to bring different men home whom your children will never see again. Try to keep it discreet, if possible letting your children stay with a friend or relative overnight to give you some space.
Finding the right guy
Finding the time to get out there and meet new people and potential partners can be tough when you are looking after children on your own. Often friends will have people they know who they can introduce you to. Don’t be shy, let your close friends know you are looking for a partner. Internet dating sites can also be a great way to meet new people. Its best to be open and upfront about your status from the beginning. Many men are quite happy to date a single mother but some will been deceived if you do not let them know from the beginning. There are lots of dedicated single parents dating sites online now specialising in matchmaking for single parents. These are a good choice for a first timer on the online dating scene as everyone on these sites is either a single parent themselves or open to meeting single parents for potential romantic relationships.
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